Hello everyone and HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! Let us show love to each other by pointing to Christ’s love! In honor of looooooooooove. Here is the final portion of the husband-wife post.
(I told ya I was gonna post more wedding pics)
Ok. So this is the second half of the post written by my husband and commentated by me. (Here’s the first post if you want to read itRemember how we differentiate? This is Ruth.
This is Sebastian.
Ruth writes in italics. Sebastian used to not observe Valentine’s Day. Got it? Good.
So let’s dive write in everyone.
Over the years with Ruth, my wonderful wife, I have learned to watch for signs of a downward slide into the depths of her depravity. That’s some good alliteration.
They are subtle… And for those of us with a short attention span from years of video games and sugar, (seriously, this kid use to take in an absurd amount of sugar… I don’t understand how he doesn’t have diabetes or a mouth full of cavities) they can be extremely hard to identify. But you can learn, as I have that there are a few things that will help your loved ones keep their heads above water. (Ruth posted about some of her “quick fixes“)
I have learned that the sense of humor so famous for its origins in the Marine Corps is a little off-putting at our dinner table. Sometimes it’s funny! Just not when we are having family time… Or when we are in public… Or at church….you know… Times when people will be offended by every other word. I have learned to be wary of what subjects I speak of before we go to bed for the night. I have learned that my childish antics and inability to comprehend financial duties and monetary stewardship are triggers. I wouldn’t say your antics are triggers, you are NOT a trigger. HOWEVER. those topics can be triggers… I have learned just how much of an ass I can be…also true. You can be an a**. But you are also the sweetest man I know. And I know I can be an a** sometimes too.
But… And this is a big but (not unlike that bovine posterior of Utter Dispair) I have learned the importance of a single rose on her birthday. I have learned how amazingly unique and empathetic her heart can be. I have learned that I can never feel the way I do about her toward anyone else. I have learned what it feels like to be important (something of which a 19 year old Lance Corporal professed, in vain, to hold a deep and philosophical understanding). I have learned to be the man God intended to create, not the fool that I desired to become. Ok. I’m feeling bashful. I’m not that great. Haha but you did think you were super philosophical when we were first dating.
Depression is bone crushing. I have no doubt in my mind that King David felt the devastating grip of its tendrils when he wrote Psalm 22. And I wish every day that I could just take her chemical imbalance and present her with a more apathetic frontal lobe.
Ruth has taught me so much because of her depression. She had to… And I still don’t understand it. I have tried to pick up my own slack in our home. I don’t remember when I started controlling my unstoppable tongue from triggering her ailment. I don’t remember when I started thinking “How is this good for Ruth?”
I would encourage those reading this who have a relationship with a member of the Bleeding Hearts of the World Club to pick something small, seemingly insignificant… Like the dishes, or garbage, or waking up to take care of a screaming baby… And do it for your loved one. Don’t say “LOOK WHAT IM DOING FOR YOU!” The world is all too full of Pharisees. Just tell them to relax. Do that for a week. Or do chores with them. Let’s be honest though, even if your loved one doesn’t suffer with depression, we should all do our best to serve and help our loved ones. My husband constantly tells people “husbands are supposed to love their wives like Christ loves the church, and he died for the church.” I’m blessed to have such a dutiful Christian man in my life.
Buy her flowers or cook his favorite meal. Do it because you have chosen to love them. Be unpredictably fun. Take him to play on a jungle gym in the rain. Take her star gazing with cookies and milk. He one time saved my birthday because he royally messed up planning it and stopped at a gas station to get cookies and milk for me. I’m a big fan of cookies and milk. Do something special on a weekday (GASP, it’s true ya lame adults, you can still have fun on a work night… And believe it or not it doesn’t have to involve liquor). Hell, do SOMETHING! They are sitting there, hoping you will do anything! So tell them everyday that you love them. Make her cry from joy! Drop everything when he needs you! It will always be worth it. A little smile… An honest laugh… Be there for them. Show them you are there through your actions. Don’t give up on them. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR LOVED ONES WHO SUFFER WITH THIS BURDEN. Because there WILL come a point where it seems like they have given up on you. They haven’t. They have given up on themselves and they need YOU to take their hand and pull them through it.
This last part is for the guys in the audience:
A wise man once graced the world with the motto Facti non Verbae. Deeds not words. You can say whatever you want, but when you finally decide you wanna be a man, grab your stones and DO SOMETHING. Anything. Do it for them. Ok this could apply to the women too…
St. Paul wrote in his letter to the Ephesians that the husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. Christ gave everything… EVERYTHING. And He did it for the Church. All I’m asking from you is 15 minutes to do the freaking dishes…or any chore that your loved one despises…I just happen to not be able to stand the dishes and I absolutely love that my Marine does them for me.
To be honest I want to post like a gillion more wedding pics. But I have restrained myself.
I am not a doctor or physician, but I consulted both before starting my journey. If you need help consult the professionals immediately! I have no training. The professionals do and they are there to help!