Before I get down to business I’d like to first say, Merry Christmas! It’s such a wonderful time when you can stand in awe at the birth of Christ!
Alright, now that that is squared away I’d also like to say I tried gluten free pretzels and followed up by eating my weight in gf pretzels with cream cheese. Does anyone else’s family eat pretzels with cream cheese? If so, I applaud you! If not, I judge you. Haha just kidddddding. But seriously it’s amazing.
Now. On to the topic at hand. I spent several days pondering this subject and chatted with my mom about it. She’s a wise woman, my Mommy, and I will probably end up quoting her a ton. It’s just that I wanted to make sure what I said, I said it clearly and concisely. (What do you mean concisely… Ya just spent six sentences talking about pretzels ya freak on a leash) as concisely as possible starting….. Now.
Have you ever heard of the day old saying “don’t let [fill in the blank] define you”? It’s one of those anecdotes that people say to build one another up and remind people who they truly are. Well I’m gonna flip the table a bit. My depression is who I am. But I am not my depression. Granted my depression is not completely who I am. But it is a part of me. (HAHAHA how’s that for existential?) God used it to shape me, my personality, my perspective. I can honestly say, without a doubt, if I did not have depression and anxiety as my cross to bear I would be different. My core would be the same, but the Ruth that people know and see would be different.
There were several years of my life though, that I think I let my depression define me completely. I let it be who I am. And it’s sad. I lost so much during that time because I was not “mentally there.” If you let your battles, whatever they may be, consume you, then you are doing yourself a disservice. You lost the fight. But, if you pretend that your battles don’t help shape and define you, you are living in ignorance and missing out in the joy of embracing your own weaknesses and battles. Because of my depression and anxiety I understand the power of empathy and thought in a way I never would have if I was free from this burden. I would never have had the joy of conquering what I have conquered. If my husband had never had the past he had, he would never have appreciated his family the way he does now and wouldn’t have the drive he has to protect the ones he loves. (I can guarantee you he will argue this with me “I’m a sheepdog, it’s in me to protect the sheep from the wolves”) my point is….. Let your battles define you. But don’t let them consume you. But always remember that when you define yourself, when you look at your self worth you look to the cross. I am FIRST AND FOREMOST a child of God. I have FIRST AND FOREMOST been redeemed by Jesus. I am defined FIRST AND FOREMOST by the empty tomb and the full manger.
I am not a doctor or physician, but I consulted both before starting my journey. If you need help consult the professionals immediately! I have no training. The professionals do and they are there to help!
SHAMELESS PLUG: MY SISTER STARTED A BLOG ABOUT RUNNING FOR MOMS YOU SHOULD LOOK IT UP RUNRUNMOMMY